So disappointed...

Well, yep. I am. I was looking so forward to Saturday night. Why? Every year around this time of year, millions of Hindus celebrate Navratri. Navratri is an annual festival is a Hindu festival of worship and dance. The word "Navratri" literally means nine nights; Nav-nine and Ratri-nights. The festival is celebrated for nine nights every year at the beginning of October although the dates of the festival are according to the Hindu calendar.

The state of Gujarat is most famous for its Navratri celebrations. Traditionally, Navratri was celebrated only by Hindu women only, in the honor of goddess Amba/Durga. Amba/Durga is a believed to be a Shakti (literal translation "energy"). Women would put "Garbha deep"(an earthen pot with holes, which has a lamp inside of it - representing life within a womb) in the center, as a symbol of shakti/godess. And at the rhythm of prayers and folk songs, they dance with clapping in concentric circles around "Garbha Deep" or "Garbo".

Even more popular is the dandiya raas. Dandiya raas was traditionally performed by men only. Dandiya is actually a pair of bamboo or any wooden sticks of the length 1.5 to 2 feet. Men would held this sticks in hand, and start with a circuluar formation. Nowadays, both sexes do garba and dandiya raas.

Alright, there is the information bit of Navratri. So, why am I disappointed. Well, I got all dressed up and got down to the place where it was being held. The hall was massive! And I would have to say that there were similar number of people as would come out on a Saturday night during Navratri in Calgary. People were beautifully dressed (there were some absolutely beautiful girls tonight) and hearing people talk in Gujarati made me feel a part of a larger community. However, I also realised some very harsh things about the community. You need to know people in order for them to introduce you , to what is a very closeknit, to their social circles. Everytime I would go and make conversation with someone, they would say "hello" and then leave. I did recognise a few people from uni and perhaps if I see them around, I will go up and introduce myself. I guess I took that for granted in Calgary because my parents are very active and social within the community. I did some garba (have several blisters on the sole of my feet), which was great! Even if I just had one extra person with me, it would have made all the difference. Some of my friends were going to come but, at the last minute, they weren't able to come. This is going to sound so fucking stupid...but my feet, ears, hands and eyes were feasting on the dance, people and sounds. However, my heart wasn't it in because it was the first time in a long time that I felt as if I didn't belong.

Alright, enough with this post. I told myself that there is no point in being disappointed anymore. I just have to keep trying and next year's Navratri might be a whole different experience.

Now, I need to go and nurse these blisters...