The final week...

This is the final week of lectures for the MBBS I at UQ. The atmosphere amongst the cohort is quite charged - people have become withdrawn, moody, unusually cheerful, while some have become apathetic, lethargic and just wanting this ordeal to be over with.

Being the type of person that I am, I need to have my social interactions but with these final exams looming, I feel a bit guilty for wanting a bit of time to just have fun. I can hear my parents in the back of my head say, "beta, you know dhat ishtudy comes furst, den you can play, okay" (or in Gujju-che speak, "Beta, thenay kaberche ke banavanu bowaj important che. Exam pacche, taney je karvu hoi, ee chut che.")

But I found myself to start thinking about what happens if I fail my exams? It's a serious possibility (this is not to say that I have done nothing all year...it just means that no one can guarantee that they will pass all the components of the exams). I have a friend that went through a very similar situation back in Canada. She failed first year and repeated it. In the beginning, she wouldn't tell people outside her med circle of friends that she had failed. However, she got over the stigma of failure and held her head up high. She became a resource for her cohort. And I can see myself doing the same thing. If I do fail, then I would make sure that I would develop friendship more and that I would be a resource for others. However, I doubt that my parents and family would agree with that. I have no clue as to where I would get the tuition if I were to repeat first year.

Alright, now I have just successfully scared myself (once again...it seems to be a daily ritual at the moment that I scare myself into thinking that I will fail and shiite like that). Breathe...in through the nose and out through the mouth...[Veevek takes a deep breath]. That's better.

Also, it doesn't help that at the moment that I'm studying about suicide, domestic violence, and drug abuse. These are all very important topics because these are many of things that prevades all societies and doesn't get reported often. And why don't doctors ask about domestic violence? Well, first off, lack of skills and training; belief that it is not common; fear of offending the patient(s); privacy beliefs; perpetrator may be a patient; belief that nothing will change from intervention; belief that women will provoke the violence; and (one of the most common) lack of time with the patient.

Okay, I need to get off the computer and go over some past papers with Annabelle and Kim. It's going to be a very long day...